One and the Same
by iammemyself
Summary: Tails believes there is something different between him and Sonic.  He avoids his best friend and says some things he'd rather have kept to himself.  Is he going crazy?  Also with Dr. Eggman and an unknown antagonist.
1. Chapter 1

I don't know when everything changed. It's not like I woke up one day and felt the difference. No. But I wish it had. How do I break it to him?  
>He's been asking me if I want to do things all week. I keep saying no. He just looks at me with confusion, and then runs off.<br>Sorry.  
>I can't say that. That won't solve it.<br>He likes it that I'm older now. That I can do all the things he's always done. Now he asks to spend time with me, instead of the other way around. Once, that would have made my day, my week. Now it just annoys me. I don't want to run in circles, thanks. That doesn't interest me. I don't really care about this tree or that kind of flower, like you do. I know you appreciate natural beauty, but I don't. Not anymore. I like machines. And besides, when was the last time you helped me build anything.  
>But no, that's not the point. The point is, I have to tell him. Before it gets worse.<br>He's back.  
>Damn.<br>I didn't want to deal with it so soon.  
>"So," he says, in his cocky, you're-gonna-listen-and-listen-good voice. "What's up with you?"<br>"Nothing," I say, pretending that my screwdriver is stuck. Of course, he knows me too well and pointedly pulls it out of my hand.  
>"Something's up," he says, twirling the screwdriver around and around his fingers. "Ev'ry time I show my face you hide yours. What's goin' on, bro? Don't you like me anymore?"<br>My heart stops.  
>Has he figured it out?<br>There's no way.  
>"Heh heh," says Sonic, tossing the screwdriver on the table, "looks like I hit a nerve there. You're gonna tell me what you're thinkin', kiddo, 'cause I can't read your mind."<br>"Really," I say. "You always seemed to.  
>He frowns.<br>"That's what I mean. You're actin' all strange. Like you're not Tails, like you're someone else."  
>I flinch.<br>"You okay?"  
>"Yeah. I just caught a chill is all."<br>He sighs and sits down, leaning on his arm and staring at me. "You know I hate being lied to."  
>I look at him.<br>"Tell me. What's goin' on? Lemme help you."  
>"You can't help me," I say.<br>"Sure I can," he says, smirking, "I can help anyone. I'm the hero in this picture!"  
>My fur stands up and instinctively I bare my fangs. He blinks and cocks his head a little.<br>"Never seen that happen before," he says. "Something must be really bothering you."  
>"YES!" I growl. "YOU ARE!"<br>His face instantly goes blank as he backs off.  
>"'kay, fine then," he says, standing up. "Look, Tails, I'm getting pretty tired of trying to get through to you. If you don't want to talk about it then say so. I've hardly even seen you in the past couple of weeks. I don't understand why whatever the hell you're doing is more important than your friends and family, but I guess I'll leave you to it. You'll have to deal with it by yourself pretty soon, because it's damn frustrating trying to talk to a brick wall, which, by the way, would at least be warmer and more responsive than you."<br>"That doesn't even make sense," I snap.  
>"Really? I have to explain it, Mr. I-have-an-IQ-of-three-freakin'-hundred? And also, being smart doesn't just mean you passed a million tests. It means you can pass the test of life."<br>"Stop thinking, Sonic, you'll hurt yourself," I say, and I feel a jolt in my stomach as I realize what I've just said. He doesn't turn away, lets me see the hurt in his eyes.  
>"I can break a brick wall, Tails, and get to whatever it is behind it I need. I can run into it, I can jump into it, and I can pound it into dust. But no matter how much I try to do those things with words to get through to you, you just sit there. I know I ain't good with words, but it used to be that you always understood what I was sayin'. Even before I said it."<br>He turns around.  
>To go.<br>I have to do it now.  
>I have to.<br>I have no choice.  
>"I HATE YOU SONIC!" I scream at him, at his ugly back, watching his stupid hair wave as he turns his head to look at me in total shock.<br>"W...what?" he stutters. "What did you say?" "I said I hate you."  
>He looks around in confusion. "What...what did I do?"<br>"You're you," I say. "And everything about you offends me."  
>"Every...thing?"<br>"I hate the way you look, I hate those damn shoes, I hate it when you call me Tails, I hate it the way you walk around like the world belongs to you."  
>Every time I told him another reason for my hatred, he looked as if I'd hit him, hard. Like I was ripping away his soul, piece by piece.<br>Maybe I was.  
>As I continue, that tiny little voice in the back of my head, the one that tells me right from wrong, tells me to stop. That every word I say destroys everything we ever had. "Tails, stop!" he cries. "I know you're erasing our future, but do you have to attack the past as well?"<br>I've been telling him of all the stupid things he's done or made me do.  
>"Please," Sonic says, as he tries to blink away his tears, "leave me the past. Let me remember..."<br>"What good is that gonna do you?" I snarl. "It won't change anything."  
>"Because, Tails," he says in a weak voice, one I've only heard rarely, "I still love you."<br>Looking as if he has been beaten from the inside out, Sonic runs away.  
>The voice in the back of my head creates guilty feelings in my conscience. But its whispers die quickly and satisfaction sets in.<br>I have freed myself of him.

The doorbell rings.  
>"Unh," I say. "Don' wanna answer that."<br>It rings again. I clench my teeth.  
>"I'm sleeping, dammit!"<br>It won't stop ringing now. I yell in frustration and go downstairs. I yank open the damn door and behind it is Amy. She's crying.  
>Beside her is Cream.<br>She's crying.  
>As I scan their faces Knuckles appears behind them.<br>He, too, is crying.  
>"What the happened to you guys?" I say, instantly concerned, my anger at being roused from a deep slumber dissipating in the cool morning light. If Knuckles is crying something really bad must've happened.<br>"It's...it's Sonic," says Amy.  
>I sigh.<br>Then I remember.  
>They don't know.<br>He wouldn't have told them.  
>"What about Sonic?"<br>"He...he tried..." starts Amym but then the tears fall harder and she buries her face in her hands. "Oh God Sonic, why?" she sobs.  
>"What? What did he do?" Knuckles comes forward, pulls Amy into a comforting hug. She folds into him in her need, her face smothering the crescent moon on his chest. He swallows hard, then tells me:<br>"He committed suicide."

They left me alone with him.  
>Why?<br>They don't know.  
>They can never know.<br>They have to know.  
>If I keep it a secret I'll be living a lie. I don't want to live a lie.<br>I don't hate them.  
>I only hate him.<br>But a feeling is creeping upon me, forming long icy fingers down my back.  
>Oh God.<br>Oh God.  
>I don't.<br>I don't hate him.  
>I miss him now.<br>I need him now.  
>Oh God.<br>Oh God.  
>What have I done?<br>He's dead.  
>He hung himself.<br>You can see that he was crying.  
>Do they wonder why?<br>Do they know?  
>Did he tell them?<br>Oh God.  
>Oh God.<br>Sonic, why did I say those things?  
>Why couldn't you tell they weren't true?<br>I sit.  
>His body lies there.<br>I am whole.  
>His body is intact.<br>Both of our spirits have been broken.  
>Technically I am still alive.<br>But I feel dead inside.  
>He took a piece of me.<br>He took a piece of me with him.  
>The biggest piece.<p>

I will never be happy again.  
> <p>


	2. Chapter 2

Numb.  
>I'm numb.<br>I feel nothing.  
>Like I've touched the socket with wet hands again, and jolted myself like a two-year old who doesn't know any better.<br>Numb.  
>Sonic is dead.<br>No.  
>That's not right.<br>Sonic's not dead.  
>I am.<br>I'm dead.  
>A world without Sonic?<br>Ha.  
>Doesn't exist.<br>He made too much of a difference not to exist anymore.  
>Then who was that?<br>Who was that, lying on Sonic's bed wearing Sonic's shoes Sonic's .  
>I killed Sonic.<br>No.  
>He did.<br>Because I tried to.  
>Why did I do that?<br>Why did I say those things?  
>I didn't mean them.<br>Yes I did.  
>I don't.<br>But I did.  
>Why wouldn't I let him talk to me?<br>Why wouldn't I let him in?  
>There's a knock.u I look up, feeling heavy, waterlogged as I drown in my confusion, anger, sadness.<br>No.  
>Why is he here?<br>"Hello," says Dr. Eggman.  
>"What do you want?"<br>"I want to know if it's true."  
>"Of course it's true."<br>He walks over. His boots leave imprints in the carpet. I stare at them. I don't know why.  
>Dr. Eggman stands over Sonic, examining him.<br>"I don't believe it," he says finally.  
>"Why?"<br>"I have fought Sonic time and again for many, many years." He looks at me. "I know him as well as you do, by now."  
>"That's a lie," I say. "You don't know him. You can't."<br>He sits down beside me. He looks around the room a little, his hidden retinas taking in everything that Sonic owns. "Yes," he says. "This is somewhat how I imagined it to be."  
>"Yeah right," I say.<br>He gives me a quick look.  
>"I do have quite the measurable degree of intelligence, my boy," he says. "What makes you think I don't know Sonic?"<br>I don't answer. I don't know.  
>He takes his glasses off.<br>I have never seen that happen.  
>I've never even heard of it happening.<br>He has grey-blue eyes, and they cut through me like laser beams. I can see the intelligence in his eyes. I see something else. He's sad.  
>"I never thought he would die," says Dr. Eggman, putting his glasses back on.<br>"Then why did you keep trying to kill him?"  
>"Because it got to the point where it was a game," he says. "Like our version of tag."<br>"Trying to conquer the world is not like playing tag," I say.  
>Eggman shakes his head.<br>"I know I will never conquer the world, Tails. The world just doesn't work that way. Why do I keep on doing it? Because it's fun. It's like playing a video game. It's like playing the hardest level in the hardest game you've ever played. You got so close that you keep coming back, even though you know you'll never finish it."  
>I shudder.<br>His disregard for other people scares me.  
>He stands up and walks out. Before he goes he turns to me.<br>"Don't be too upset," he calls. "He had it coming, you know. You had to break free sometime."  
>I stare at him.<br>He knows.  
>"How..."<br>"I told you, I know him," says Dr. Eggman quietly. "As I know you. You boys are one and the same. What else would make Sonic take his own life? Certainly nothing I ever did."  
>"No," he says. "Only losing you could make him do that."<br>"But why?" I whisper, guilt washing over me in billows, lead forming in my limbs to take me to the depths of Hell where I belong.  
>"Because," says Dr. Eggman, "losing you causes him to lose himself."<p>I want to cry.<br>The tears won't come.  
>I can feel them.<br>They're sitting in the corners of my eyes.  
>They've formed the lump in my throat. Oh God I feel so guilty.<br>I don't want to think about it.  
>I don't want to remember what I said.<br>But I do.  
>The hateful words pour like rain around me, and I flounder in the hatred that I inflicted upon him now reflecting upon myself. I am so disgusted by what I have done. I can't believe it. What did I do?<br>I stumble downstairs.  
>I have to get out of that room for a while.<p>

They are burying him today.  
>They are putting my brother into a hole in the ground.<br>He would hate that.  
>I don't go to their funeral.<br>I can't.  
>I can't.<br>They console me. Try to take care of me. They still don't know. I still haven't told them.  
>I am so dirty inside.<br>I am the lowest of the low.  
>I watch from the garden.<br>I can see from there.  
>Amy is crying.<br>Cream is crying.  
>Knuckles can't cry. Knuckles has to talk. Knuckles has to give the goodbye speech.<br>Knuckles is crying anyway.  
>They don't linger over it. They do it quickly, and I can see their sorrow, a dark cloud over their heads.<br>Every shovelful of dirt hits me as it hits his coffin.  
>I said I hate you.<br>I said I hate you.  
>I said I hate you.<br>As I watch them throw dirt on him, press him deep into the ground, I want to scream. He wouldn't have wanted that. He wanted to be cremated. He wanted to be released into the wind, so he could still be free.  
>Now he is trapped.<br>He is buried.  
>Buried with the words that left my mouth.<br>All of a sudden I feel sick. I feel so sick. I've been leading them on.  
>Good people.<br>I'm lying to them.  
>My mouth goes dry.<br>My legs disappear.  
>My arms tremble as they struggle to keep me from hitting the hard stone.<br>Dead.  
>He's dead.<br>Because of me.  
>My stomach churns. Heaves. Struggles to eject that dark thing from me, the thing that made me think that Sonic was the one who needed hated.<br>When it was me.  
>Saliva drips from my jaws.<br>I swipe at it with a shaking hand.  
>God I wish I could cry.<br>But I can't.  
>I don't deserve it.<br>I was happy when he left. I thought I was free.  
>But how could I be free without Sonic, when Sonic was freedom?<br>I howl, trying to let the dark feelings out of me.  
>"Tails! Tails, are you all right?"<br>Amy.  
>No.<br>Not Amy.  
>"No!" I scream.<br>She loves him.  
>"I'm sorry!" I gasp. "I'm so sorry, this is all my fault!"<br>"How could it be your fault?"  
>I tell them.<br>Cream will never look at me the same way again.  
>Knuckles shakes his head.<br>And Amy's heart breaks in two as she walks away from me.

They leave me alone.  
>I am alone.<br>I miss him.  
>I need him.<br>I'm staring at his plane.  
>The one he gave to me.<br>I start to moan.  
>I start to scream.<br>Amy comes.  
>She is scared.<br>She forgives me.  
>She tries to calm me.<br>I cannot be calmed.  
>She tries to hug me.<br>All I can think of is who should be in her arms and I start to thrash so she cannot hold me.  
>I scream.<br>I can't stop.  
>I can't stop.<br>I collapse.

I open my eyes.  
>Are they wet?<br>No.  
>They are dry, as if someone dried them with a towel.<br>Where am I?  
>I sit up.<br>My heart stops.  
>Emerald Hill.<br>And there...it can't be...  
>Sonic.<br>"Sonic?" I say.  
>He turns.<br>"Hey there," he smiles.  
>"Aren't you..."<br>"Nope," he says.  
>"But...but..."<br>"Tails," Sonic says, "I'm sorry."  
>"For what?"<br>"Tricking you."  
>"Y-You...why would you do that?"<br>He sits there, not looking at me.  
>"It was all I could think of."<br>I'm confused.  
>"What do you mean?"<br>He sighs. It's long, and heavy, like he doesn't quite know how to break some horrible news to me.  
>"Why do you hate me?"<br>"I...I don't."  
>"Yes you do," Sonic says. "You wouldn't tell me that if it weren't true."<br>"I...I don't..."  
>He looks at me, his eyes like green lasers. Oh God, he can see right through me, just like Dr. Eggman had, could tell me the truth before I could realize what it was.<br>"Hm," he says, looking away again.  
>"What?" I ask, wanting to know what he saw.<br>"You know what."  
>I start shaking. I don't know why. All of a sudden I am paralyzed with fear. Does he hate me?<br>Does he?  
>Do I care?<br>Should I care?  
>"Do...do you hate me, Sonic?" I say, flinching at the weakness with which I say the words.<br>"Of course not," says Sonic. "That's ridiculous to even suggest. I love you, little buddy, more than anything in the world. But what I can't figure out is what's going on in your head. How long has it been now?"  
>"Since I was two," I say.<br>"Right. So I'm sorry, but I find it kind of strange that after 13 years, all of a sudden you go hatin' on me for no reason." He frowns. "Actually, you had a lot of reasons. Why my shoes bother you is a mystery to me."  
>"I don't know," I say. "I...I don't know why I said those things."<br>He stands up.  
>"I think," he says, "we need to have it out."<br>"Huh?"  
>He turns around, looks at me, a glint in his emerald eyes that I don't like.<br>"I think we need to have a fight, kiddo."  
>"Wh-why would we..."<br>"You'll see," he says, and in a rush he comes at me, fists clenched.  
>I feel a rage rise up within me and I rise to meet his challenge. <p>


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing I think of is the most obvious.  
>He's fast.<br>God, he's like a tornado. I feel like I'm in the eye of a hurricane, watching the wind swirl around me, helpless in its clutches. But the same rage that made me stand directs my eyes to find him in the whirlwind, the solid streak of blue that I can catch.  
>He's fast.<br>But so am I.  
>I rush at him.<br>We crash to the ground, and I wonder how he manages to fight anybody. His legs are gangly, awkward, made long and lean by putting endless miles behind them. And yet he has perfect control over them, bringing them up to smash me out of his way, send me into the air so he can dash at me again. That is what he tries to do.  
>That's not what he does.<br>He forgets.  
>I can fly.<br>I come at him from the sky, and he does not expect it. I press him into the ground, his skinny shoulders captive beneath my hands as I snarl in his face.  
>He just stares at me.<br>How can he not feel it?  
>The rage.<br>I feel as if it must be emanating from me, gushing out into the world. It surrounds me.  
>It directs me.<br>I am forced to enact its will.  
>The voice in the back of my head screams for me to stop.<br>I can't.  
>Where is this rage coming from?<br>I want to stop.  
>I can't.<br>Why is he letting me do this?  
>I can't be stronger than him.<br>I can't.  
>Suddenly I am left empty, to collapse on the ground a shivering wreck. My body wasn't made for that. It doesn't know how to do that.<br>I want to cry.  
>I can't.<br>His shadow stands over me.  
>I am afraid.<br>You don't hurt Sonic the Hedgehog. You just don't. If you know what's good for you.  
>I am so afraid.<br>What's happening to me? Why did I do such a thing?  
>His arms are around me and I start to scream. He puts a hand across my mouth.<br>"Ssh, " he says. "I'm not gonna hurt ya."  
>I stop screaming. He pulls me close.<br>"Oh God Tails," he says into the top of my head. "What's wrong with you?"  
>He doesn't say it angrily. He says it in a sad voice, at a loss for what to do.<br>"I don't know," I say, wanting to cry, desperately needing to cry, but unable to. We sit there, and he just holds me. He knows I need to cry, he's trying to give me time. He loves me, he wants to help me. I attack him, with everything I have.  
>I see the shock on his face and I laugh. He's not fast enough this time.<br>I revel in his pain. I know he would never fight me. Not for real. He doesn't have it in him.  
>"That's enough."<br>I snarl and look behind me.  
>"What?"<br>It's Dr. Eggman.  
>He walks up to us, full of determination. He's not afraid of me, even though I just beat Sonic the Hedgehog into submission right before his eyes.<br>"What did you say?"  
>"Stop posturing, boy," says Dr. Eggman. "What sort of a farce was that supposed to be?"<br>"What farce?" I growl at him. "You saw what I just did."  
>"I saw a hedgehog that was trying to make his fox friend feel better," says Dr. Eggman, frowning, "when his fox friend decides to rip his lungs out! Get a grip on yourself, Tails. You're just being ridiculous now."<br>I clench my fists.  
>Dr. Eggman picks up Sonic. Sonic does not object. I don't know if he is able to or not. I don't know how badly I've hurt him. I only know that I didn't want to stop.<br>The doctor walks away, to his familiar floating chair.  
>"Where do you think you're going?"<br>"Obviously our mutual blue friend needs to be protected from you," says Dr. Eggman, getting in. "I think I'll borrow him for a while."  
>"I don't give a damn," I say. "Take him. Kill him for all I care."<br>Dr. Eggman looks at me.  
>Then he takes off.<p>I am trembling.<br>I beat Sonic.  
>I let Dr. Eggman take him away.<br>I told Dr. Eggman to kill Sonic.  
>They don't know.<br>They don't even know Sonic's not dead.  
>Or maybe he is.<br>I don't know.  
>Some hidden part of me, one that grows larger and larger with each passing day, enjoys all of it. This part of me laughs in Sonic's face when he says something stupid when he's trying to be helpful. This part of me turns my back on him when he needs help.<br>Where did this come from? I didn't used to be like this.  
>I loved Sonic.<br>Don't I still?  
>Yes.<br>But that part of me doesn't.

"Dr. Eggman."  
>He is building something tiny, with dexterity surprising for a man of his size. I guess as long as your brain is nimble it doesn't matter how clumsy the rest of you might be.<br>"Mm-hm," he says, not looking up.  
>"Did you do something to me?"<br>He stops.  
>"And that," he says, "is the million dollar question."<br>"Well?"  
>"Are you going to believe me?"<br>"Yes."  
>"All right then, " he says, turning around to face me, "no. I didn't." He raises his eyebrows. "Do you believe me?"<br>"Yes," I say truthfully.  
>"Good," says Dr. Eggman, turning back to his work.<br>"Dr. Eggman?"  
>"Mm-hm."<br>"Can you fix me?"  
>He pauses again, running his fingers idly through his moustache. Then he gets up.<br>"Where are you going?"  
>"I'm thirsty," he says. "I'm going to get a drink."<br>I stand there dumbly.  
>"Are you thirsty?"<br>I blink.  
>"I...I guess so."<br>"Follow me, then," he says, "and don't try to steal any of my ideas."  
>We walk for such a long time that I'm pretty sure he doesn't want a drink at all, when we finally come to a room made entirely of marble. It is so beautiful and so not Dr. Eggman that I have to ask:<br>"Why is this here?"  
>"Everybody has their soft side," he says, not elaborating. He opens the door and gestures me inside.<br>"Visitors first," he says.  
>I walk in. Dr. Eggman closes the door, and all of a sudden I realize how heavy the door must be. "How did you-"<br>"No time for that," says Dr. Eggman impatiently. "That is not the point of your visit."  
>He turns me around with a pressure on my shoulders.<br>Oh God.  
>It's Sonic.<br>Or something that used to be him.  
>"He asked to see you," says Eggman quietly. "I told him it was a foolish idea, but he insisted. If you didn't come on your own I was to bring you here. But here you are."<br>I stare at the lifeless husk of my brother, lying there on an operating table.  
>"Don't worry," says Dr. Eggman, his voice fading as he walked away, "I didn't do anything to him."<br>I walk up to Sonic. Somethings tells him I'm there and he turns his head. Oh God, he's so weak. What did I do? I can't remember.  
>"H-hey...little bro," he says, his voice barely audible. "Nice ta see ya."<br>"Sonic...Sonic, I'm so sorry," I say, my voice just as quiet. "I don't know why...I didn't mean it..."  
>"Hey, no...no worries," he says. "I know it was an accident."<br>"Sonic, " I say in a rush, having to tell him before it's too late, "I think there's something inside of me. It's making me hurt you. It's making me hate you. I don't know what it is, but it's not me!"  
>"I f-figured," says Sonic, coughing a little. His face screws up in pain for a moment. "God this hurts," he mumbles.<br>"I-"  
>"Don't say you're sorry," says Sonic, smiling a little. "There's nothing to be sorry for. You haven't done anything. C'mere."<br>I climb up beside him, and he asks me to help him sit. I do so, and he takes a moment to rest, his eyes closed against the pain the movement created. He takes my hand and squeezes it, hard.  
>"Sorry," he whispers. "I wanna give you a hug, 'cause you look like you need one, but I don't think I'm up to it right now."<br>"Did he hurt you?"  
>"No," says Sonic, with a quizzical expression, "he didn't. He's actually being really nice to me. I mean, he didn't have to save my life, or he could have tried to steal my DNA or something, but I don't think he did. I think he just fixed me up as best he could and left me alone."<br>"That's weird," I say. "Wouldn't you expect Dr. Eggman to hurt you worse?"  
>"No," says Sonic. "Tails, me an' Eggman are a lot alike, you know? Kinda...one and the same. If Eggman showed up on my doorstep an inch from dyin', I wouldn't kick him and close the door. I'd try an' help him out."<br>"But Dr. Eggman's evil."  
>"Nah, he just has a different idea of what fun is," says Sonic. "Like we all do."<br>It was funny. Sonic had just told me everything that Dr. Eggman had said.  
>"He came to see me," I say. "He was sad about you dying."<br>"Hm," says Sonic.  
>"Would you be sad if Dr. Eggman died?" Sonic thinks a moment.<br>"Yes, I would."  
>"Why?"<br>"Because he's a very great man," says Sonic, rubbing at his nose absently, "in his own way, of course. Just because I don't let him do what he wants doesn't mean I don't respect him."  
>His fingers have weakened on mine. He's fading.<br>"Sonic?"  
>"Uh-huh?"<br>"Are you gonna die?"  
>"For reals this time?" Sonic laughs. "Maybe."<br>"Shit," I say. He frowns.  
>"Hey," he says. "That wasn't necessary."<br>"Sorry," I say.  
>"'S okay, just don't make a habit of it. You're smart. Think of something else you can say." He yawns, his eyes closing against his will. "Geez, that's annoying," he says.<br>"What is?"  
>"All I want to do is sleep," he says, rubbing the side of his head against the pillow. "I'm so tired. I think," he says, yawning again, "that my time is up, bro."<br>"What?" I say in alarm. "You're gonna die?"  
>"No, " he snorts, snickering, "I'm not gonna go quite that far just yet. Gimme a little more time before telling me I have to kick the bucket. I'm going to sleep, silly."<br>"Oh, " I say, embarrassed. "I guess I should go then."  
>"If ya wanna," he says faintly. "Come back an' visit, huh? I'll wake up long enough for us to talk."<br>"'kay, " I say, starting to leave.  
>"Tails?"<br>"Yeah, Sonic?"  
>"I love you."<br>I try to say the words.  
>"I..."<br>I can't.  
>Something is stopping me from saying them.<br>Something is rising inside of me, preventing me from feeling the love he spoke to me with his words.  
>Oh God.<br>Oh God.  
>Not now.<br>Not when he's like this...  
>The darkness turns me around to face him again.<br>It takes in his sleeping body, the wires and lines leading from it to machines that gently hum their prescence as they keep him alive.  
>It takes in his straining chest, fighting just to breathe.<br>It takes in his legs, broken, shattered, useless, wrapped in a futuristic bandage to hide the destruction.  
>It takes in his face, at peace even in such pain, with so many troubling thoughts swirling into his dreams.<br>It takes me to him.  
>I try to fight it.<br>How can you fight something you can't see?  
>I can't fight myself. I'm not strong enough.<br>My eyes glow red, I can see them in the shiny surfaces of the machines. what am I about to do?  
>"You have something that belongs to me," says Dr. Eggman, appearing out of nowhere, and with a brilliant flash of light I disappear.<p>

Pain.  
>It is everything. Everywhere. I consist of it.<br>Agony.  
>I have never been tortured so much. What happened to me?<br>I struggle to rise. My eyes open and I am in the room of marble with my best friend.  
>I groan involuntarily.<br>I have hit the floor, very hard. My shoulder hurts. I must have been thrown there.  
>I look over at Sonic.<br>He's not breathing.  
>"No," I say. "NO!"<br>"Don't worry, Tails," says a voice I've not heard before, "it wasn't you."  
>"It was me."<br>In horror I back away.  
>"No...no, it can't be...it can't be!"<br>"Yes," it says, its empty eyes staring at me.  
>"Tails.<br>"Can you feel the sunshine?"  
> <p>


	4. Chapter 4

The Tails doll.  
>The version of me created by Dr. Robotnik many, many years ago, back when I was very young. All I remember of it is a feeling of terror, of the red jewel glowing in the dark, as the empty, soulless eyes stared at me and told me I was everything that it was, nothing more.<br>Like Metal Sonic, but worse. The Tails doll didn't fight physically. And that was why Dr. Robotnik deemed it a failure. It came out as a limp, useless plaything that could be pounded into the ground without a second thought. The power of the doll lay in its ability to capture souls.  
>Dr. Robotnik thought this was a useless, stupid strength, and tossed the doll aside with his other abandoned projects.<br>The Tails doll didn't like that.  
>The Tails doll wanted a soul.<br>Guess which one it took first?  
>The Tails doll had been trying to take my soul.<br>If it made me kill Sonic, it figured, then I would be such an emotional ruin that it would be up for grabs.  
>It didn't figure on the wild card.<br>Dr. Eggman.  
>Where is Dr. Eggman?<br>Wait. If Sonic isn't breathing, that means...  
>"No," says the Tails doll, floating eerily, "I didn't take his soul. I don't want his soul.<br>"I want yours." "N-no," I say, shaking badly, "y-you can't have it!"  
>"Stop," says Dr. Eggman, and I can see that the doll has injured him. He is rubbing his shoulder, hard. "Listen to me. Stop."<br>The doll turns and looks at him. Dr. Eggman freezes in place.  
>"NO!" I scream. "DR, LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAY!"<br>With difficulty, Dr. Eggman tears his gaze away from that of the doll. I can see he is afraid. But he finds strength in this fear, where I just sit here and shake.  
>"I think, " muses the doll, rotating in the air, "I think I will take the hedgehog's soul. I'm lonely. Maybe if I have a best friend to play with I won't be so lonely."<br>"NO! NO!" I yell, and I throw myself at the terrible, unnatural device in front of me. But something hits me in the chest, hard, and I fall to the ground again. "SONIC!SONIC, WAKE UP, WAKE UP! IT'S THE TAILS DOLL, IT'S GOING TO TAKE YOUR SOUL!" I scream, and Sonic's eyes open slowly, so slowly. I know he hasn't heard what I've said, that all that causes him to wake is the panic and fear in my voice. Instinct tells him that I am in trouble, that I need help, and that he must do anything to save me. This same instinct triggers the strength he has deep inside, hidden there for when he needs it most, as he does know. He rises from the bed and stands to face the doll, flicking off the lines preserving his life.  
>If he does not win soon he will die.<br>Sonic is not afraid of the doll, like we are.  
>"So you want my soul, huh?" says Sonic arrogantly, crossing his arms defiantly. "Well, come and get some! You've gotta get through the rest of me first."<br>"That will be simple," says the doll.  
>Against my will I throw myself at Sonic, and he comes at me just as fast. He does not hold back this time, he lets me have it because he has to. We are on the floor, clawing at each other desperately, locked in a battle for the essence of who Sonic was. Yes, he is strong, even at his weakest, but his strength cannot last forever. Eventually I beat him. Eventually I win.<br>I back off in shame as Sonic curls up instinctively on the ground, injured. I had forgotten his legs were broken. He could not fight with them for long.  
>The Tails doll looms over him. He looks up at it in defiance, Sonic to the last, daring the doll to come and get him even though he knew he was done for. I can't move. It won't let me move. It won't let me move.<br>The jewel glows.  
>"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOo!" I scream, but I am powerless to stop it. There is a brilliant flash and I am blinded.<br>Something howls.  
>Someone screams.<br>When the light fades I blink to recover my vision. Sonic is crying.  
>"What-what happened?" I say, going to him as quickly as I can.<br>"Dr...Dr. Eggman...he..." says Sonic, unable to continue. He points instead.  
>What I see frightens me.<br>Dr. Eggman is lying on the floor, the Tails doll in ruins around him. His glasses are useless, shattered on the ground, and once more I see his eyes.  
>I am so afraid of what I see.<br>There is no one behind them.  
>I try to remember the intelligence I saw, the sadness, the reassurance that he was not just a mad scientist bent upon some unattainable goal. But it is so hard to remember as I try to tear myself away from the empty, staring eyes that look back at me without seeing anything.<br>"He saved me, " sniffs Sonic. "He saved me again."  
>For the last time.<br>"He saved me too," I say, and finally I am able to cry.


	5. Chapter 5

when Sonic is strong enough to walk, we take the body of Dr. Eggman to a quiet place. Hopefully nothing will disturb him. He was a good man after all.  
>He left Sonic a formula. It repaired his legs, made them whole again.<br>With it was a note:  
>"For Sonic, because I couldn't lose if you couldn't run."<br>Sonic understands.  
>But he doesn't understand why I insisted we bring him here, instead of in one of his factories or something.<br>"Because," I say, "everybody has their soft side."  
>He looks at me sideways but only says, "Even evil geniuses, huh? I guess I can dig that."<br>We bury his body, with me doing most of it because Sonic is still very weak. But as soon as he could stand up he said we had to do it. He said Dr. Eggman didn't deserve to wait.  
>"Buh-bye, Egghead," says Sonic, with a sardonic wave. "Nice knowin' ya." I give him a dirty look.<br>"What?" protests Sonic. "I'm supposed to do it. You know he...uh...liked me this way."  
>"I guess," I say. "Bye, Dr. Eggman. I promise I won't steal any of your ideas."<br>"No duh," said Sonic. "You already destroyed his factories so nobody could."  
>"Yes, but he doesn't know that," I say.<br>"'course he does," says Sonic, pretending to put an arm around my shoulders but actually using me to hold himself up, "he's Dr. Eggman. He knows everything."  
>I laugh. "So do you," I say.<br>"Ya got that right, bro," says Sonic, giving me a thumbs up. "Now what do you say we leave Eggman alone and go home. I think he's got some plotting to do, wherever he is now."  
>"Sounds good," I say. "I've had enough stress for one week."<br>"It's only been a week?"  
>"I know," I groan. "It has taken FOREVER."<br>As we walk home we can see the factory in the distance, still in flames. We hope that what we can't see is burning with it.  
>I shiver.<br>"You cold too?" asks Sonic.  
>"Yeah, " I say, trying to believe that it's true.<br>But I shiver because I am afraid. 


End file.
